


Hold on Tight

by dragonwings948



Series: Wonderland [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Angst, Audio 016: Storm Warning, Audio 052: Scherzo, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Holding Hands, Inside the TARDIS (Doctor Who), Introspection, POV The Doctor (Doctor Who), Travelling in the TARDIS (Doctor Who), Wonderland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25116649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948
Summary: Charley travels in the TARDIS for the first time, but it's a bit of a bumpy ride. | The Doctor reflects on holding Charley's hand in the Divergent Universe.
Relationships: Eighth Doctor & Charley Pollard
Series: Wonderland [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814560
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Hold on Tight

_You held on tight to me_

_‘Cause nothing’s as it seems_

_Spinning out of control_

**Then...**

It was a thrill the Doctor would never get tired of.

Seeing their eyes widen as they entered the TARDIS. Watching the gears in their brain turn as they tried to grasp the concept of bigger on the inside. Hearing their stutters as they imagined all of time and space at their feet.

It gave him a specific kind of buzz that was impossible to describe. There was almost a distinct taste in the air, the sense that an adventure was just beginning.

And when the Doctor looked into Charley Pollard’s eyes, he knew she felt that energy too.

She looked over the console and walked around it in a slow circle. The Doctor stood lightly on his toes, ready to stop her if she tried to press anything, but she didn’t. Finally she came to a stop, a contemplative frown on her face. 

“Well?” the Doctor asked. He could hardly keep from bouncing up and down; the itch to get going was almost too much to suppress.

“Anywhere?” Charley clarified, glancing over at him.

The Doctor nodded once. “Within reason.”

“Define ‘reason.’” A smirk twitched at Charley’s lips. “Are there rules for this sort of thing?”

“Only the ones I make up. My rule is: as long as it won’t get us killed, I’ll take us there. So no black holes, unfortunately, because I _have_ gotten that request before.”

Charley’s expression morphed into a puzzled frown. “Black holes?”

The Doctor considered. 1930… “That’s right,” he murmured. “In your time, humans haven’t discovered black holes yet. The theory has been put out there, thanks to John Michell and Einstein’s theory of relativity. Wonderful chap, Einstein,” he added, dwelling on memories. “He knew how to make the best cup of tea…”

Charley crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the console. “So what is a black hole?”

“Well, when a star dies—” The Doctor started explaining with his hands, but then got a much better idea. He grinned and turned to the controls, beginning to set the TARDIS in motion.

“Doctor? Where are we going?”

“To see a black hole, of course.”

Charley’s eyes widened. “But you just said you _wouldn’t_ take us there.”

“I won’t take us _inside_ one, no, but observing one from far away we’ll be perfectly safe.” He finished his work, pressed one last button with a flourish, and watched as the time rotor began moving up and down.

And that was when the room turned sideways.

Ramsay, who had so far been content silently exploring the upper regions of the console room, emitted a startled screech and flapped his wings wildly. Though the Doctor hadn’t expected the sudden shift in balance, he was able to maneuver himself quickly enough so he fell back into one of the metal arches. Charley yelled in surprise and fell right into his arms. Her body was rigid with shock.

“It’s all right, I’ve got you,” he assured her. The room straightened out and the Doctor released his hold on her.

Charley huffed a breathy laugh. “Does the TARDIS usually do that?”

“Only on really good days.”

As Charley’s gaze swept elsewhere, probably to make sure Ramsay was all right, the Doctor glanced at the console and wondered if he had pressed one too many extra buttons.

“The books didn’t even fall off the shelves!” Charley exclaimed.

“Yes, the TARDIS is very clever like that.”

The room shifted, only a small change compared to last time, but Charley’s hand shot out and grabbed his like an instinct. She met his eyes with horror and flushed, immediately looking away.

The Doctor squeezed her hand, already comfortable with the point of contact. “It may be a bit of a rough ride sometimes, but I promise the destination is worth it.”

Charley squeezed back and smiled at him, the spark of excitement still bright in her eyes. “I believe you.”

* * *

**Now...**

Knowing that Charley’s hand was in his was the only thing that grounded him.

What the Doctor couldn’t tell her was that he was terrified. The thought of being trapped here, robbed of every sense, until he finally died… It was horrifying. His life had been all about sensations: seeing the sights, tasting the air, hearing cries for help, smelling flowers, feeling the touch of someone’s hand in his…

_The touch of someone’s hand._

Now, he couldn’t even feel Charley’s, as much as he willed himself to. For the moment, it had to be enough to know she was there.

But _was_ that enough?

The Doctor wasn’t in the habit of lying when he could help it, and he hadn’t been lying to Charley when he’d tried to explain to her how odious her presence here was to him. Yet in a way he had lied, because he hadn’t been able to tell her just how much he hated her silly sentiment of love.

 _Love._ If she loved him, she would have let him make his sacrifice for her. She would have let him die knowing that she was safe. But now…

There were no words to describe the disappointment he had felt upon first realising she had come with him into this universe. How could he put into words what it felt like to lose your entire purpose?

In the silence, it was easy to let the emotions overwhelm him. So he occupied his mind, counting the beating of his hearts to keep time. Even his perfect time sense didn’t work here, because there _was_ no time for him to sense.

This place put him on edge. It was a universe made to drive a time lord mad, and the Doctor could feel himself slowly spinning out of control.

But knowing that Charley’s hand was in his was the only thing that grounded him.


End file.
